While we are reminded of death time and again in eulogies spoken in front of an audience with someone resting in a casket nearby, hardly anyone can prepare themselves for the loss of someone close. We’ve all been there, either as the one grieving a loss or someone consoling the one in grief. In this blog, we will talk about how you can be a friend to someone who is mourning a loved one. Life threw a curve ball at them, and they had to get past it. How can you help them? Let’s discuss this about funeral services.
Small Gestures Make a Huge Difference
Life is laden with uncertainties that lie at every step. Just two years ago, we were hit by the COVID-19 pandemic, and lives were lost. In times like these, small gestures can do wonders for the mourners. Examples include sending flowers or a card, delivering a meal, helping out shopping, or just offering support. That’s what makes us humans, to be there for someone in their moments of unease.
Preparing for a Loved One’s Funeral
This is probably the worst thing the griever must endure – preparing for a funeral, ordering a casket, scheduling dinner, inviting guests, preparing a eulogy, and interacting with people. That’s a lot to handle, especially for someone who has just lost a loved one. This is when funeral services come into the picture. They plan out caskets, and carriages, prepare a funeral dinner, etc. As a friend, you can connect with a renowned funeral services company to save your struggling friend from the hassle of handling formalities.
Be Flexible
People who are mourning their loved ones deserve to have their own way of coping. So, as a friend, you must keep an open mind and be flexible. For instance, if your friend feels like coming over to your place, try to adjust your schedule to make time for them. If possible, leave your plans and be with your friend, or you could also take your friend out with you. An example would be taking your friend along on a work trip, paying for their plane ticket, and going sightseeing with them during your free time.
It’s OKAY to be Not OKAY
Most people are uncomfortable with feeling sad. As a result, they tend to bottle up their emotions and act normal. This is dangerous since unhealed trauma can lead to a variety of mental and physical health issues. Therefore, you can help your friend by reminding them that it’s okay to be not okay. Offer them a shoulder to cry on and a safe space to express themselves. Let them talk it out, shed tears, and stay in whatever state they feel like. These gestures will communicate to them that they don’t have to be fine all the time and you’re there with them during their worst time.
Offer Hope
Reassurance can be just what a person might need, especially after the loss of a loved one. Even though it might seem unlikely, people always remember the kinds words and gestures offered to them to inspire hope during their rough times. However, this is a tricky situation because you’re helping someone find a renewed sense of life amidst unbearable pain. So, avoid being too glib, which can make the bereaved person feel even more isolated. Instead, tell them how strong they have been throughout the whole event.
Offer Specific Help
It’s common for those around the grieving individuals to offer help. Perhaps, an often overused phrase in these events is, “If you need anything, let me know.” This is a vague phrase due to how open-ended it is. Further, it can be difficult for most people to ask for help, especially during an event of grief. Generally, a person wouldn’t bother anyone else to help them and suffer in silence, which is harmful for them.
If you really want to help or be there as a friend, you must offer specific help. For instance, there’s a good chance that your grieving friend might be feeling overwhelmed with grief. Take care of other tasks while you’re there. Mow their lawns, cook food, wash their clothes, get them groceries and handle other routine or pending tasks that they don’t have energy for.
Be a Listener
Sometimes your friend doesn’t want you to help them do things or even offer advice. Instead, they might just need you to listen to them. Yes, sometimes they might repeatedly tell you the same story, but that’s part of the healing process. They have just gone through intense grief, and by telling their story to you, they are reassuring themselves. So listen patiently and remember not to offer advice on any matter unless they ask you for it. Also, remember to avoid judging them or disrespecting their privacy. Your friend is confiding to you in their hour of need; you must keep it disclosed.
Talk About Their Loved Ones
A general practice when people visit a recently dead person’s family is to ask how the person died. This question may satisfy the curiosity of visitors but it is highly likely to be a trigger for the mourners. It’s already hard to accept the absence of a loved one so asking them them same question isn’t advisable. Instead, you can help them feel better by saying nice things about the deceased. For instance, reminisce about the past, how the deceased took care of your friend, or perhaps their sacrifices for you. It can be hard to live those thoughts, but your grieving friend would be able to recall all the good times. You can also ask them to bring an old photo album, or discuss special occasions, like their birthdays or graduation days.
Don’t Relate Yourself to Them
People have different ways of responding to grief and might feel like their grief is being undermined if you say things like “I know how it feels.” Even though it is meant to make the mourner feel better, it often has the opposite effect. No bereaved person would like to hear someone else say that they went through something similar. This adds unwanted pressure on the mourner to hold back on their emotions.
Final Thoughts
The loss of a loved one can be hard to process. People close to the deceased have to experience a flood of emotions. They not only have to endure how the event took place, but they have to relive it again and again while narrating it to the people who show up at the funeral or ask them later. In times like these, a friend who is a good listener and understands the severity of the situation can greatly help. So, if you want to be one of those friends, be sure to follow these guidelines before you head out to meet your suffering friend.
Philips Horse Drawn Funeral Services can be of great service if you’re looking for funeral services to help your friend during their grief. They offer everything from casket selection to carriage services. Their services also include transportation of the casket from the home to the church to the cemetery. It’s a tough time, but they are there to help in any way possible. Visit the website for more details!
